Vipassana Meditation Experience of Mr. Hano
It is with full realization and humility, that I state it is not through my own abilities that I have come so far to reach this stage. But It was the Power of the Master that lifted me and my Mind, high enough, for me to be able to see the TRUTH for and about myself and about the world of illusion and suffering.
This year I have gone from darkness to light, from ego to no ego, from not knowing to the knowing. Learning how to reach the Ultimate Truth about myself. Learning how to be equanimous and not give things a value.
Like the popular science fiction movie, “Ready Player ONE” I realize that we are all stuck in a type virtual reality game, a world of illusion and distraction, that holds us here by gravity created by our emotions as explain by Master Achravadee Wongsakon. The harder we try to escape, the tighter the world of illusion grabs hold on us. The more we react to the stimulation of this world of Illusion, the more we let our feelings turn into emotions, the stronger the gravity that holds our Minds in the endless game of reincarnation.
It is not until we realize that rules of the game, that we even have a chance to find the exit.
The first step is to purify the mind of all the weight created by building emotions in this and the past lives. This can only be done with Techo Meditation, burning away the Kilesa that attached to the gravity of the world of illusion.
But this will not be easy, because the Kilesa that thrive on us being in the game, will continue to tempt us from every angle, to have desire, cravings, aversion, anger, hate, fear, all these emotions then holding us more tightly in the game.
The Kilesa use tricks like doubt, ego, temptation, lust, anger, hunger…. whatever they can do to make you break your precepts and step off the bright path. Once the Kilesa are able to break your resolve and virtues and cause you step off the noble path, that’s when they have you.
So how do we escape? The truth is most of us will never be able to escape, because we do not even know the rules of the game. We are taught by our parents, what they believe the rules are. Mara needs us to keep the dark world of illusions alive, by whatever emotions she can cause us to create.
If Mara can get us to collectively react to something that creates a collective reaction, then even better for her, because it strengthens a larger gravity net that catches and binds more people to the illusion. The World Wide Web is perfect tool for the Mara to use. Billions are connected to platforms like Facebook and Instagram. If Billions of people react to a story or photo, then the collective reaction sends a huge wave of power to strengthen the gravity of the world of illusion and lock us in even deeper.
Each time you click like, there is an electrical charge that happens either on your end, or the end that people receive the Like acknowledgement. Each time that electrical charge feeds the Matrix.
Buddha through such strength and determination, figured out the rules broke himself out of the game. He shows us the rules for us to follow, but even with the road map in our hands, the Kilesa and Mara and world of illusion, play with us like puppets. Few of us have the resolve to get out. Few of us have the ability to see things how they really are. Misery loves company and our friends would rather keep us with them, as they also suffer in the illusion.
I know how to get out of the game.
My experiences during my Techo Mediations courses, have led me to understand, what Master means about being Mindful. Mindfulness means closing the doors of my senses, so I do not get lured into the world of illusions and break my precepts or empower the illusion by allowing my feelings to turn into emotions and give power to the Mara world.
By refusing to allow the Mara to attract me with sights, smells, sounds, tastes and touch. I can prevent myself from being drawn into the world of illusion and building new or bigger Kilesa. With my Mind focused and aware of anything that may attract my senses, I just need to acknowledge and give no value to whatever arises. If I falter during the day and have feelings that’s develop into emotions and Kilesa, then I have my Techo practice to burn those impurities.
For this understanding I am Eternally GRATEFUL and indebted to the Master Acharavadee Wongsakon.
I provide this background not out of ego since my ego as fade much this past year through Techo Meditation practice. But to demonstrate to the reader that I am a strong-minded business person. As you read about my experiences, these things may sound unbelievable. It may sound like I am crazy person off the street that joined a meditation retreat, because perhaps I was weak-minded or that I may have gotten brain washed in the process.
This is Far from the Truth. I am as strong-minded as they come. All that I set out in these pages, is my true experience. I am exposing my experiences to the world in hopes that I may help share the rules of the game, others may also find the Master and Awaken.
I am a foreign Techo Vipassana Student.
I was born in Germany and grew up in Canada and Hawaii. I am 55 this year “Farang”. I did not no much about Buddha or his teaching when I first joined Techo Vipassana.
I have been successful in the real estate development business. I own luxury resorts and private Islands and other businesses. I became successful quickly and I was retired by the age of 45.
This was the picture a decade ago when I was on top of my game. But the reality this past decade not as glamourous as it once was. My businesses are located in a corrupt Asian country. My assets have been constantly attacked by Mafia, corrupt government officials in concert with crocked company director who all colluded and were determined to steal my assets. Eventually this caused me to live my life in Thailand, maintaining my businesses from a distance, to avoid getting kidnapped, extorted or worse. I have had close foreign friends who also resort developers and business owners, who were not as lucky as me and either lost their businesses and assets or worse lost their freedom and or their lives.
I have spent most of the last decade fighting for and protecting my assets, from all those who wanted to steal them from me through nefarious means.
I recall sitting front of the Master Acharavadee in my third Meditation review when she asked me if I had experienced any emotions in my meditation. I thought for a moment and said
“yes” I told her
I had been angry for years that I have spent the last decade dealing with problems resulting from corruption, and resented that my life was not that way I had planned.
It was at that moment that that I had a realization. If all these “bad” things had not happened to me, I never would have been sitting in front of the Master at this moment.
I considered that odds of me having been born in Germany, growing up in Canada then Hawaii and ending up in the land of Buddha. The odds were staggering and I knew a whole lot of things had to have happened in my life to find my way to Saraburi Thailand and to somehow have the desire to become a student of Techo Vipassana.
Remembering my wish I made in a past life “that I would give up anything to be liberated” made me realize that I now would give up any and all of assets, I had been fighting so hard to keep, for the chance to be liberate and exit the world of illusion. Suddenly I felt myself letting go emotionally to all those things I had been holding onto so tightly.
I thought to myself, all those corrupt individuals I resented, had done me the Biggest favor of my life and I owed them a debt of gratitude. I never would have ended up willing to join a Mediation retreat, if I had access to all my assets and able to live the life I had planned.
When I first arrived at Techo Vipassana Saraburi, I believed I was following and supporting my partner on her spiritual journey. I thought I had joined Techo Vipassana for her, and to support our relationship. Not for myself.
I was so wrong. As it has turns out, I now realize, that this Journey with Techo and the Master, is actually my own. It was my Destiny, to find Techo Vipassana, my partner was only there to help me find the way.
I have seen a long, long ago in a different life, that I made a wish to be liberated from this world of illusion and reincarnation. That wish is what has brought halfway around the world to Techo Vipassana, in the “Land of Buddha” and gave me that chance to become a student of Master Acharavadee Wongsakon.
Whatever happened to bring me to this moment, I am now so Grateful for it.
It was during the Merit ceremony of the third course, that recall I made my wish not for myself, but for the Master.
And in turn the Master made a wish for me….
“I wish that I would have all the success in my life and business and so you can find your way to Liberation.”
And that wish from the Master by nothing short of a Miracle, all the problems of the last decade began untangled rapidly. All those who had been attacking me suddenly lost power, were facing criminal charges and I for the first time found myself returning to a country, I had not been in for in years. This was at the personal invitation of high-level Police general, who on his own initiative took on my problems, did not want any money to clear my problems (which is unheard of in corrupt places), but wanted to help genuinely help me, “because of his Karma”. He had been reading books about Karma and felt something about me and my story.
One of my Techo friends not knowing I had travelled back to this country, told me they saw in a vision recently, that I had returned to deal with my business problems and she could see as the car carrying me and my partner from the airport, the dark angels had to cover their eyes, and look away from all the bright light coming from the angels surrounding and protecting us.
Returning to face my problems, was a significant moment in my life where by facing my fears and not being afraid to return to a dangerous situation, the Mara world of illusion lost more of a big grip on me.
I realize that fear is a strong element and emotion, that keeps us locked in. I also know that this sudden unraveling of complex problems, has to do with the wish of the Master for me and the power the Triple Gems. These things do not just happen like this.
My First day
My first course of Techo Vipassana was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I had no idea what I was getting into. I did not really pay much attention to the details. My partner had arranged everything and I figured I just had to show up and make it through the week.
Physically I was not ready. Like most middle-aged foreigners, I really have not spent much time sitting cross legged on the floor since kinder garden. After a couple of days, the pain in my legs, knees, hips, back was excruciating. But in retrospect I must say that the body does adapt over just a few days, weeks and months. Where one year ago I could hardly sit 15 minutes meditating, before having to move my legs to relieve the pain. Where now I can sit for 2 hours without much discomfort or moving.
Where last year, my concentration of my Mind was weak, now I can flex my Mind like a muscle, and bring it to focus almost immediately.
My mind and head feel different. I hear a slight ringing noise in my ears now, but not a distracting ring, it is like the high pitch hum of an Energy current. Since my last course and reaching the first stage, when I close my eyes, I can see energy grids and lines.
My mental concentration is strong. This past year I have attempted to do some writing but did not have the flow or concentration to complete my writing. The past few days since the retreat, I have been writing with ease and speed and a new clarity. Also work I have been procrastinating on for months, seems to be getting done with ease.
Everything starts to change when one begins to awaken.
If this is only the first step, I look forward to going to the next level.
As I write down my experiences, my head is beginning to ache and I realize that as I reveal the truth in these, the Kilesa are going to war to try to block or stop me. That is the battle we all face constantly. The Kilesa want us to fail and stay in the game.
Of this we must remain Mindful every moment if we want to find our way out.
Desire for the Super Natural
Once I started to see visions and other dimensions in my first Techo Meditation practice, I did not understand what I was seeing or more importantly, what I was looking for. I would see aerial views of deserts, but not a beautiful desert. It was covered with shrubs and grass patches. Sometime I could see people walking through it. Other times I would find myself sitting on some sand, I could see things clearly in HD. I could see the grains of sand. Sometimes I found myself moving through the forest and even over mountains. But what was the Destination? What was I supposed to be looking for?
In my first Mediation review, the Master asked me what I saw. I told her exactly what I saw but remarked to the Master that all these scenes struck me as plain ordinary looking.
The Master replied, “yes that is correct” you should only know it and not give what you see any value….”
I then asked her about the Destination. “What is the Destination Master?”
“There is no Destination.” She replied. “As images arise, just know them, do not give them a value. Focus on the focus point. That is you only duty”
I was looking for the extraordinary. The super natural.
So unfortunately, I did not follow the Master instructions and my Kilesa were more than happy to high jack my mediation practice and lead me down a beautiful scenic path. I began to see forests, oceans, mountains, stars and all the things in nature I enjoyed. My concentration did not stay on focus point. I let my concentration follow the images and enjoyed my meditations. I thought I had a special gift. For the next couple courses, I forgot all about Kilesa, never really saw them again and figured Kilesa were a thing of the past.
Finally, the Master in my third course during Meditation review, asked me what I saw. I told her I was sitting in the ocean and watching a school of fish.
With a firm voice the Master said “no …no that is not right”
Sit and meditate in front of me. As I meditated in front of the Master, my visions changed from beautiful scenes back to what I saw in my first course, ugly caves containing Kilesa.
I now once again saw how things really are.
For all these past months, I had forgotten the purpose of Techo Vipassana Mediation practice, I was not meant to spend my time looking around in my visions, I was supposed to be fighting a war against the Kilesa to purify my mind. This was a rude awakening and a hard lesson I had to learn. Did I just waste a couple courses enjoying the scenery?
I realize in this World of illusion, Mara shows us what we want to see. Anything to keep us in the game. Anything to distract us from discovering the truth. Anything to stop us from burning our mental impurities, to keep us heavy so that we cannot lift our Minds beyond the gravity field of the world of illusion, because once our Minds become light, and our Knowing Minds are released from the Mara world, we start to see the Ultimate Truth and the exit of the game illusion comes closer.
The Turning point
A few weeks before the course I spent time alone on a remote Island in Southern Thailand returning to nature to try to improve my meditation practice and state of mind, before the Techo Vipassana Meditation course.
I was meditating at night on the beach, when an image of my face appeared in my practice. Then the face of Master arose. And back to an image of my face. The two images eventually merged and my Knowing Mind told me that I am connected to the Master. And when I break my precepts it is not only myself that I disrespect, it is Master Acharvadee Wongsakon, I am also dishonoring.
This was a very important understanding for me. The determination to perfect my precepts is key to my practice.
Although I have heard the Master say it a thousand times, keep your precepts firmly, I had no idea how important that was to the Mind purification process and escaping the Matrix.
Today it is common knowledge that Parasites that live in our digestive systems of our bodies. Scientists have discovered that these parasites can control our desire for certain foods as well as our moods, by release toxins into our system.
If you traveled back in time to the early 1900s and tried to explain the idea of parasite to someone back then, they would not understand or believe you, unless they could see parasites with their own eyes.
It was in my first Techo Vipassana course that I listened to the teaching of Buddha. The Buddha described something called Kilesa. The concept of Kilesa was as foreign a concept, as the idea of parasites would be to someone 100 years ago.
Kilesas are things that may look similar to parasites, that live not in our guts like parasite, but in the Sankara of our Minds.. Kilesas are come when we allow our feelings to grow or develop into emotions. Either in this present life or in our past lives. Kilesas are collected in our Sankara and stay with us from one live to the next always accumulating and affecting us. The method of Techo Vipassana meditation practice, uses the fire element to burn away these Kilesa buried deep in our Sankara.
Techo is like using any parasitic medicine to remove parasites, that affect effect how we feel, food we crave and our general outlook. And so it is with Kilesa drive our moods, make our minds unstable inorder to create new emotions to further control us and hold us in the cycle of rebirth.
The world of illusion is driven by our emotions. The more collective emotions Mara can cause us to develop, the stronger the gravity of the illusion becomes to hold our Minds tightly in this unreality. The only way to break out of this cycle is to understand what Buddha was taught when he described Kilesa over 2500 years ago.
I did not understand what Kilesa were, until I saw them for myself in my first Techo Vipassana course. Seeing these Kilesa happened almost immediately after learning the technic and once Master ignited the fire element in my hands.
As started to practice Techo Vipassana, I did not know what to expect. The Master did not tell us anything. Not even that many of us would have the ability to see past lives or creatures like Kilesa. So when Master first called me up for my Mediation review, I was shy to explain to her what I saw. Ugly tunnels, lit up by the light of the Techo fire my meditation was creating. The tunnels looked gross, some covered in slime, some filled with Kilesa that looked like bed bugs, or translucent insects or other imaginable creepy crawlers. Slugs. As I burned and moved to different layers I saw snakes and other disgusting black slithering creatures. As later I learned how to go even deeper into my Sankara to purify the Mind, I saw a cave with a pit of brown water filled with scary looking eel like creatures.
When going even deeper I ended under the sea, watched disfigured prehistoric type creatures with one giant alligator type eye looking at me and swimming towards me. Back on the surface I saw groups of slimy pig like slug animals flopping around. Then there back on the surface on the land, there were the Kilesa armies, wearing disguises like uniforms or in other instance trench coats. These massive groups of battalions initially looked like real soldiers marching into battle, but at a closer look as they marched, the gave away their cover with this funny wobbly short step walks that gave away their disguis. I would see zombie types people also dressed in disguises or walking funny. The fire of my Techo Meditation would burn these creatures. And on the horizon I could see these endless armies of Kilesa running from the huge fire my Techo power was creating. These Kilesa were always unending and never the same as the last bunch. Always trying to disguise themselves. Always trying to hide.
After my fourth course I have seen Kilesa in so many shapes and sizes in different levels of the Sankara of the Mind.
It was my Fourth course. I was determined to improve my meditation practice.
I was experiencing strong concentration and seeing lots of Kilesa.
Suddenly my head started to feel pressure. As I continued to focus my mind, the pressure in my head turned into a headache. Despite this, I stayed focused and firm. But the more mediated, the worse the headache got and I started to feel nauseous. That night after practice I was really sick and eventually vomited. As I vomited my headache turned into a blistering migraine. I felt so ill. In the morning of the third day, after very little sleep I was so nauseous, that I barely made it through morning meditation. When I went before Master to review the mediation practice, I had to take my white sarong with me, in case I suddenly had to run out of the hall to vomit.
Master explained to me that this was the work Kilesa. That my headache would move around my head and eventually subside. Throughout the day and into the night I continued to suffer and feel sick. But I vowed to preserver and do my practice. That night I could not listen to Dhamma discourse because I was again feeling so nauseous. As I walked back to the Hermit hut I found myself kneeling in a bush and again emptying whatever was left in my stomach.
I lay in my bed really aware of what it is like to suffer. I thought about people that lived like this for years. I wondered how many days I could endure this condition.
But as sick as I was, the Kilesa were not finished with me yet. They had more tricks up their sleeve. The next day still not feeling well and having endured the morning mediation practice it was now my turn to go before Master to have her review my progress. But as I was waiting for my name to be called, a very distant memory arose in my mind, which caused my meditation to become unstable. It was a memory of when I was a young boy walking to school by myself. I was I got distracted and my way and by the time I reached the school, I could see that school doors had closed and I was late. As a little kid I was so afraid I had done something so wrong by being late. With the realization that I would be in Big trouble, my body was overcome with fear and guilt and I nearly blacked out.
Now and idea started to take root in mind that this could happen to me again all these years later. The idea that I would go in front of Master and black out, rose up again and again. I started to wait to hear my name called. I also was aware that Master could sense my energy and my thoughts if I try to hide my fear. This only compounded the anxiety. My Meditation lost complete focus and my breathing became faster.
This is how low the Kilesa will go, using any trick to shake my mind and turn my mind from an Equanimous state, into one of lost concentration and to make me fear sitting in front of the Master.
I could never have imagined that Kilesa would be able to shake my mind and try to break my bond with Master with such a simple idea. I resolved to remain equanimous. It was hard. Master called me up.
At that moment my knowing mind said “just tell her”. So as I kneeled in front of the Master, and exposed my fears and weak mind.. Only Kindness and Compassion came from Masters as she spoke. “Whatever it is….just know it….know that it is Kilesa, don’t give it a value….” She said.
And with those words my fears subsided. There was no judgment. The Master said, “ since you became a student of Techo Vipassana you are protected by the Triple Gems and do not have to be afraid of anything. Stay equanimous at all times”
I realized that my fears and insecurities which had long been covered by safeguards I had developed. My knowing Mind told me that this was the reason I consumed alcohol through my life, to dull my senses so I would not have to face my fears.
That evening during my walking meditate, I still felt bit embarrassed and considered how weak my mind was in front of Master. And so the Kilesa were trying again.
The Flood of Emotions
I took rest in my hut before the evening meditation session. As I laid my head on my pillow, I suddenly felt a very strong wave of Energy wash over my head and body. As I closed my eyes
I felt a big wave of Energy poured over me. The same kind of Energy I feel in the presence of the Master.
Suddenly I saw all the moments of my entire life, from a very young boy going to elementary school, high school, University and eventually moving into adulthood.
But unlike stories of people whose lives flash before their eyes during a near death experience, the images of my life were of all the times I had failed. All my disappointments. Hundreds of images and the corresponding emotions of my life revealed themselves to me. I felt like such a failure. So sad. So tired.
When it was over, I cried. Looking at my life like this was so much suffering. Since a very young age I had done everything with such a Big Heart and Pure Intentions, only to be so disappointed and feel such failure so many times. I felt the world was so unfair. So Painful. I could see myself in each moment saying to myself, “I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want to go HOME.” But I never knew where HOME was!
It became clear to me that after burning the Kilesa and purifying my mind, what released from my Sankara were all the emotions of disappointment in this lifetime. Master had always asked me if any emotions arose from the past.
As much as I felt sad, I also felt a happiness from the relief as all these buried emotions released from my Mind. My mind clearly was now lighter. My resolve to never to go through the cycle of rebirth and to find Liberation continued to strengthen.
It was on the final day during the early morning mediation when it happened. My mind and body had been purifying for days by burning kilesa. My mediation, now became stable.
As I closed my eyes, and focused on the focus point, I identified the hot spot on the palm of my hand. I narrowed and held my focus tightly on that hot spot. As my eyes focused, my concentration stable, my body was still and my mind became equanimous.
At that moment, I saw a great Ancient Alien Wall appear in my vision, covered with the dust from the ages. As I held the equanimity in stillness, the union and balance of all these forces began to move this Massive wall.
Equanimity, focus and concentrated mind moved this Giant Structure effortlessly, in the silence. When the Wall stopped to move and there a vast Emptiness that revealed itself.
And in this Emptiness I felt HOME.
The World of Illusion is nothing compared to this place of Equanimity.
It was at that MOMENT, that Mara lost her grip on me forever. No longer would I be fooled or will I dip even my little toe into the world of temptation and Illusion. “IT IS OVER” I said to the Master during my meditation review. From now on, my precepts will be held in perfection and I will do whatever it takes to reach Liberation. I have “ZERO interest” in continuing to feed the world illusion, with energy from my bad words or deeds or thoughts.
I had seen the Truth for myself. I had gone to a place that I could never have imagine existed. The memory of this moment, is what I can hold on and recall anytime to maintain my resolve, to find Liberation in this Lifetime.
I express my Deepest Gratitude to Master Acharavadee, for using so much of her precious ENERGY to lift my Mind up so High! And for supporting my shaken mind, in order to reach this level of CONSCIOUSNESS.
Although I arrived to the course with determination and commitment, I saw how my mind and body were easily shaken under the full attack of Kilesa. And like a kid learning to ride a new bicycle, where the parent is holding and pushing the bike, I could feel how the Master held my mind stable and pushed me forward with her waves of Energy, to allow me experience for myself the sensation of what it could be like to ride on my own.
During this course, I truly felt the Masters Energy and Power, like the feeling of being in a MRI Scanner at the hospital, the Masters Energy force during Meditation practice felt like a giant magnet, creating an energy field around my head and body, lifting up my mind to a new level.
My connection to Master’s Energy, enabled my Mediation to reveal what I have read in the Masters teachings and her book Awaken from the Madness, about her own experiences meditating, which I now could see were just as Master has described.
It all makes perfect sense now. Buddha’s teachings are still far more advanced then Western thinking and Science that cannot match Buddha’s pure wisdom and knowledge about the Universe.
Looking back at what made the difference in my practice
Commitment to Perfecting the Five Precepts.
Commitment to this Noble Path. (Indulging in the world of Illusion or even the idea of keeping a small toe in the Mara world, had to be eliminated)
Stop thinking about Time during my Practice. (I realized that the time is only NOW when meditating. I left my watch at home and when the Kilesa started to push my Mind to wonder about the time, I commanded my mind that the only time was -NOW.)
When feeling the heat of the focus point, I gave all concentration to the point.
Staying still and meeting the heat of the focus point with Equanimity and Confidence. (this moved me to new layers and experiences.)
Maintaining a Gentle Mind with Gratitude towards the Master at all times.
When practicing I hear and know Master’s words …..
“Focus on the Focus Point”
“Whatever arises….just know it…..but do not give it any value”
“Do your Duty”
“Mind’s Duty is to concentrate”
“Fires Duty is to burn”
“Dhamma’s Duty is to reveal the Truth”
The Visions I once craved
Since the first and started seeing visions Techo Vipassana course I craved something extraordinary. Something Super Natural.
Master always cautioned me not to have craving, desire or aversion in my Meditations. She instructed me to stay equanimous and focused, not giving any value to visions that might arise.
And finally in the my fourth course I had become a diligent and an obedient student. I followed Master’s instruction to the letter. I practiced with equanimity.
And that is when it happened.
The Science Fiction movie LUCY is about a girl whose body was exposed to large doses of a chemical, which caused her mind to start to function at a progressively higher level. The human brain functions at about 10% of capacity. In the case of of her brain eventually she began reached 100% of her brain at which point she transcended.
At the 100% capacity, there is a scene in the movie where LUCY, sits in a chair and is transported, into another place and time. As she swipes her hand left or right, LUCY transports from scene and period of time to another.
As my Mind purified from Techo practice, I experienced the something similar during my Mediations. As I Meditate I find myself sitting in scene like sitting in a clear river, looking down through the crystal clear water, and observing the sands or, different pebbles. Sometimes I finding I am sitting in the desert looking at the sands and weeds. In this state I experience focused consciousness. By staying equanimous and not giving these scenes any value I find myself transport to other places as well. Sometimes it is under the ocean. Other times into the forest, over mountains, through wheat field or into the star filled night sky or even into a historical or modern neighborhood. The scenes are in HD definition.
Something happens when the Mind is purified. Somehow the pure power of the Mind is freed and starts to function or resonate at a much higher frequency and power. As my Mind purified from days of intense Mediation and purification, I could now connect more and more to the frequency of Master’s Mind, and get a tiny glimpse of what she sees.
Connecting with Masters Energy amplified my abilities exponentially.
It was when I stopped craving and desiring to see Visions.
I realized nothing compares to the stillness and equanimity which I felt at the focus point when I saw the ancient wall. It was not the vision that was so profound, it was the perfect resonance of the fire element on the focus point and concentration in an equanimous consciousness. Those who do not have visions, can reach this state. Visions as Buddha said thousands of years ago, can be a hindrance or distraction to the process.
Vision are not necessary and should not be the goal of practitioners.
I now understand what the Master means about the visions and why she instructs us to, “Just know it….don’t give it any value, whatever arises do not give it a value”.
As I entered the course I also realized that all these past months, I had been sneaking peaks at my watch, to see how much time was left. If time was flying, I felt good and paced myself accordingly. If time was running slower than I had anticipated, I would feel discouraged.
I realized that this was feeding the very things that I was trying to eliminate through meditation. Namely craving, desire and aversion.
So I vowed not to look at the time during this Meditation course and left my watch in my hut. Also I considered what Master had told me in the third course about staying on the focus point and not being lead into other directions. I vowed to really concentrate on the focus point and see if my meditation changed. Until now my meditation seemed good, I was discovering truth through my knowing mind.
But I recall in the Third course, Master challenging me about my desire to see beautiful visions instead of the dirty tunnels where the Kilesa lived in. Master reminded me that I was at war with Kilesa and that it was a trick of the Kilesa to have me give value to all the pretty nature scenes.
So I resolved to really focus on the focus point with determination.
At the 4:30 am Meditation of the Fourth course with great strength and determination and a resolved to focus, sure enough the Kilesa in their dirty tunnels began to reveal themselves. As my focus became sharper, I started to go deeper into where the Kilesa live and hide. As I brought stillness and equanimity to the focus point, the knowing mind started to reveal. I could see time is a worldly construct. Humans view time as Linear (a straight line going in a forward direction). But what the Mind revealed is that Time is only NOW. As I brought this truth into my meditation, time faded away. Whenever, I thought about the time, I only needed to remind myself that it was NOW. And NOW was the only time I had to Meditate my way to find liberation.
Later I saw a clear Image of time a space. I saw the image of Buddha high up in the Universe. Below was the earth. TIME on earth represented by a span of Millions of years. But where the Liberated minds of Buddha sits, Time was only NOW.
So as the Mind gets lighter and purer and leaves the gravity of earth moving higher, time moves closer to NOW.
With this I could start to understand how the Master could achieve so much with her time, as her Pure Mind exists on such a high plane.
I began to create a formula.
FIRM PRECEPTS + TECHO MIND PURIFICATION = LIGHTER MIND = NOW
The more the Mind purifies the Lighter the Mind becomes and the less Gravity could hold the Mind down. The Rising Mind continues to go up until the Ultimate Goal of Enlightenment can occur where the is no Time, only NOW.
Master in my Meditation checkup acknowledged the idea of the NOW, saying that is how Arahants view time, as Now, as their minds rise so high away from the gravity of earth.
With the realization that Time is not Linear and that if I simply maintain my precepts, be mindful of temptation and things that would pull my Mind into the Mara Energy fields, then I could fully realize the NOW and the Ultimate Liberation.
Perfecting one’s precepts and maintaining firm Techo Vipassana practice, is so such a small price to pay to lift the Mind to the Ultimate Truth and Goal.
Understanding and accepting the teaching of Buddha came easy for me. I felt much of Buddha’s teachings made sense.
However, there was one idea that really left me unsettled. That was the idea that we had been reincarnating for eons upon eons and uncountable lifetimes, into a world of suffering.
Initially I could not accept or understand how this could happen. How the universe could be that cruel. I did not accept that I was the victim of such a heartless Universe. I felt that I had place in the Universe that was fair and just.
I think many foreigners may feel the same way, not being able to fully reconcile the cause and effect of karma, as it impacts our endless reincarnations.
It was in my second course when I went to bed after this Dhamma discourse and the idea of reincarnation continued to weigh on me. I woke up in the morning feeling strangely angry. It was the last day of the course. I had no reason to be angry. Who was I angry at? Buddha, Master? Myself?
During the early morning meditation I became more and more shaken and frustrated and felt the tears welling up in my eyes. During walking meditation, I aggressively walked towards the main road, wanting nothing more than to get away from this meditation retreat. I did not understand why? Master had been so kind to me, but now I found my anger was suddenly directed towards her. After breakfast I joined meditation in the hall. During the practice I saw a vision of Buddha. This softened my anger. As I took a break during practice sessions, I went outside and laid down in front of the Meditation hall. The sun warmed my body and face. With my eye closed I saw warm colors and I connected to the Universe as I had on a previous occasion. Suddenly my heart swelled with GRATITUDE remembering a time that I had thanked the Universe for my life, even all the bad things. As I sat before Master in the meditation review, I explained what I had experienced and felt sorry for my anger towards her. She explained to me the importance of Gratitude and how it was the most important quality that could save a person from losing their way.
It was GRATITUDE that had saved me that day from being misled by the Mara and Kilesa to leave Techo with this bad feeling.
The Big Progress
In the final hour of the last day of the course, Master unexpectedly called out a list of names to individually go in front of her for additional review.
When it was my turn again I could feel Masters energy wave stronger than ever. The Master asked me “how was your meditation”. I told her I had a good Meditation. Very powerful. I said I felt real equanimity and calm.
I then said to the Master, “about your question yesterday when you asked me what made me want to join the Techo Meditation in the first place?” I thought about this last night and although initially I wanted to say it was my partner who pushed me to come to mediate, I now realized that it was my Destiny that has brought me here”. Before I had the chance to say it myself the Master added “ because you made a wish in front of Buddha to reach the Enlightenment.”
I expressed my sincere Gratitude to Master for sharing the gift of her precious Energy and lifting me this high.
The MERIT Making
As I sat in the Meditation hall for offering Merit on the last day of the course, I looked around the room to see about 100 of other students dressed in their white Mediation clothing, listening to the Master sitting in front of the Hall speaking to us.
I closed my eyes and realized I could see another realm, but in this realm were over a 1000 entities dressed in white outfits, but sitting close together and crowding the room.
At the front I could see the Astral body of the Master floating where Master normally sits and everyone’s attention focused respectfully on the Master.
Later after the ceremony when I went outside and closed my eyes, I could again see another dimension and groups of the Devas walking through the fields, back to where they came from.
Is it True
I had finished my first Techo Vipassana course and ran into my friends wife in Bangkok, She had heard that I had had become a student of Master Acharavadee’s.
At the time she happened to be reading Master’s Book Awaken from the Madness.
“Is it True……” she said
“Is what True?” I replied
“The book” she said…..Awaken from the Madness…..is it true what is in the book?”
At that time I had not read the book since it was only available in Thai. I did not know how to answer her question.
I have since read the manuscript of the English version of the book.
And after my recent course I can now say “YES….Absolutely, what I have seen with my own eyes confirms all I have read in the Master’s book …..It’s all true, but is the world ready to believe it?
I wonder how it was during the time of Buddha’s.
Did people also question, saying “Is it True……?”
Did people succumb to their doubts and the world of illusion?
During my earlier course as I listened to Master give Dhamma talks with a western mind.
I tried so hard to reconcile the Buddha’s teachings, with western knowledge and science.
This was unnecessary. As I now realize Buddha’s Teachings do not have to be reconciled at all. It is the western knowledge that must now catch up to the Wisdom of Lord Buddha, who taught his Wisdom to his followers nearly 2500 years ago and before.
Buddha was 100% right.
Those of us who were lucky enough to be her students, in this moment in time in the serenity retreat of Techo Vipassana, will think back to this time and consider how lucky we were. And wonder whether or not we practiced as hard as they could have. Or whether we wasted this moment after so many endless and uncountable cycles of rebirth.
Many lifetimes from now, some may wonder, as I wonder, having been close to Buddha in a past life, why they failed to be liberated in this life and why they are still here.
This time, I will not be one of those people, because THANKS to the Master I have AWAKENED FROM THE MADNESS.
With Utmost Respect and Eternal Gratitude to:
The Triple Gem
Venerable Pra Ajan Somdeh Toh
Master Acharavadee Wongsakon
And my Sincere Thank you , to all those Techo friends who cheered me up along the way…….